Louise's Rant #2

Well I have been spoilt for choice this week on irritations that I could rant about, must be my “time of the month” as it seems the smallest of things have annoyed me.  Never mind I will store them all up for future rants and stick to the one topic this week that has REALLY irritated me and that is door knockers.  No not the ones that are attached to doors that people knock so you know they are there but the people who walk around knocking on your door to talk to you about something or another.

There appears to be 3 types of door knockers.  There is the RELIGIOUS NUT who wants to either brainwash you into believing in their “religion” or get money from you to support their “religion”.  Then there is the kind hearted CHARITY WORKERS who want you to support their cause by donating some money.  Finally there are the SELLERS who quite simply want to sell you their product.  Almost on a weekly basis I experience a visit from at least one of the fore mentioned door knocker.  I want to share a few of these experiences with you.

The Religious Nut

I recall the time I received a knock on the door from the religious nuts.  There they were standing together (as we all know they always work in pairs never alone, this may be for protection reasons as I for one have often wanted to give them a slap) wearing their smart suits with their neatly groomed hair.  So before they have a chance to get a word out I not so politely say “No thank you”.  The female replies “but you don’t know what we wish to speak to you about”.  Well now she has my back up and has presented me with the chance to get stuck in.

“Hang on a minute, you are standing with your friend on my door step with your smart suit and lovely groomed hair.  There is another 5 pairs of walking up the street knocking on people’s doors.  Yes I know EXACTLY what you want to speak to me about but guess what I don’t care for anything you have to say.  I don’t knock on your door spouting my religious beliefs so DON’T come knocking on mine.  So take your friend and your propaganda pamphlets and leave me alone.  Goodbye”

I really wonder why the religious nut wastes their time and other peoples time door knocking.  I can’t truly believe they have ever converted anyone.

The Charity Worker

You can’t really be irritated by the charity worker as they are generally good hearted people trying to do their little bit to make the world a better place.  However I want to make a few points.

1.      I hate their choice of wording.  They ask you “If you would like to help by making a donation.”  If you say “No” you look like a truly heartless bitch.  When what you really mean is “Yes I would love to help but I am not really in a position to donate money to every single charity that is around as wonderful as most of them are, so no unfortunately I won’t be making a donation today."

2.      Just because they have an identification card around their neck with their picture on it does not prove to me that they are legit and work for a registered charity, anyone can make these up on their home PC.

I would like to point out that Jason and I do donate to 2 charities on a regular basis.  They are charities that we feel passionate about and have chosen to support.

The Seller

I have endless stories I could tell about The Seller door knocker but as I am getting a little bored now I am going to restrict myself to one.

When we stayed at our old house in Carina we would get monthly door knocks from Aussie Dairy Farmers.  They are basically a home delivery service that delivers fresh bread, milk, fruit and veggies.  Every month a little Irish girl wearing an Aussie Dairy Farmers polo shirt would knock on the door asking if we wanted to sign up for their service and every month I would tell her “No”.  I actually quite liked her so I always refrained from being bitchy and I would let her get her little spiel out.  However after 7 or 8 months of this going on enough was enough.  So as I see her approach the top step I simply yell out the door “No thank you” and back came the typical door knockers reply of “But you don’t know what it  is that I want”.  Well of course that just set me off on one.  “You have knocked on my door every month for the last 8 months and every time you have given me the same spiel about your service and every month I have told you no thank you so yes funnily enough I know all too well what you want so kindly P**s Off.” That was the last I ever saw of The Irish Aussie Dairy farmer.

I think my next move is going to be to get a plaque made up and attached to the door that says “NO DOOR KNOCKERS PLEASE”.  If they still come knocking then my response will be to quite simply point to the plaque and ask them “Why would I want to stand and have a conversation on my door step with someone who can’t even read?”

So door knockers my message is to go away, leave me alone and knock on someone else’s door or even better “GO GET A PROPER JOB”